anonymity.

Whispers

naked.
tell me, what do you see?
i see lies, deception, and manipulation.

The Writer

the ironic water-bearer.
the gem. the life.
the one and only... miss A.

Watchers

Almiekat Ally Alias
Fatehah Nooraini
Fiza Bani
The Sister
Pok Xiang Yan

anonymity for life.

- the wishlist -
the lottery
the historical trip
a big king size bed
a great guy and ...
an accidental new love.

>br>

first.

Friday, January 14, 2011 @ 9:01 AM

Many a time, I would find myself thinking twice before posting something into my blog and I find that revolting. My blog has lost its sole purpose which is to serve me well. To serve as a place for me to voice out my thoughts regarding my daily life... no matter how mundane and boring it may be. It used to be my stage to flaunt my words, my creativity and my life. But now, it is dead, slow, sickening, and a torture to maintain.

The question is, why is that so? W.H.Y?

I guess it's because the blog has garnered too much unwanted attention. Everything that I posted anywhere (and I mean... anywhere like twitter, plurk, you name it!) seemed to be examined right under the microscope and can even affect someone, somewhere. People would question, some would even wonder, why am I so emotional, so angry, so vulnerable, so exposed? They wonder if my angry words are directed to them? I find it a little bit; no ... I mean, EXTREMELY absurd, hurtful, and insulting.

If you think that my angry words are towards you, then you must have done something wrong behind my back to feel that pinch of guilt. Right, honey? Your tongues must have been wagging so hard. *To think that I've trusted yous*

Busybodies.

And secondly, the most infuriating part is when your words are recaptured in someone else's lips. Like a transducer, they transmit what's supposed to be kept in confidentiality to someone else. It made me felt like the stupidest, the dumbest person in the entire world. Too stupid to trust them people whom I thought were my confidantes.

Confidantes my arse.

Confidantes don't betray you. They don't TELL others what you've shared. And the most disappointing moment is when you realize that the person you trusted turned out to be someone that you shouldn't trust at the first place.

And by the way, I totally hate hypocrisy. Don't tell me one thing and you do another. If you're gonna be a hypocrite, then you better not say a word to me. And if I respect you, I expect likewise.

... So right now, I feel that I need a new space to put my thoughts into words. The thirst for that freedom of speech is now quenched with this new blog. Over the time, there will be lesser and lesser posts in the other blog.

Sometimes, transitions need to be made. I need to move on. From Year 2010 and all the bullshits that came along with it. Didn't quite expect Year 2011 to begin with a few tiny mishaps, but oh well... life's a bitch. It ain't perfect.

I've learned not to show my emotions externally anymore; at least not on the internet. I've learned that sometimes, certain things are best kept to self, or to close friends who are out of the normal circle that I'm in. People like you, the ones who are reading. People I've known for a decade or more. People I ADORE. People who don't judge my life.

I guess this is it. This blog is exclusive. For me, yours truly.

Shhhh. Can you keep a secret? - Sophie Kinsella.

- Little Miss A.

Labels: reasons