*anonymity.
Whispers
naked.
tell me, what do you see?
i see lies, deception, and manipulation.
The Writer
the ironic water-bearer.
the gem. the life.
the one and only... miss A.
Watchers
Almiekat Ally Alias
Fatehah Nooraini
Fiza Bani
The Sister
Pok Xiang Yan
anonymity for life.
- the wishlist -
the lottery
the historical trip
a big king size bed
a great guy and ...
an accidental new love.
>br>
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Thursday, April 21, 2011 @ 6:19 AM
i quit plurk. i realize that it is no longer a private place for me to rant out my true inner feelings. the girlfriend seemed more like a spy than a friend to me. sometimes, it is pretty scary to tell her anything 'cause news travel. so does my public blog. too many eyes are looking. too many... i didn't delete my twitter account. instead, i signed up a new one. called rory... if u wanna find me, just add my gmail. today, i was really pissed at my gay housemate. oh well, it's partially my fault. i agree. but his face... as if he had never did the same thing to me before... was really fuming. my blood boiled to 100 degrees and i was so angry. i know this is my downside. i get angry, too easily. kleioleto needs to take a chill pill. i have learned that if you don't stand up for yourself, no one will. and if you're being too too nice, you'll be stepped by others who wanna take advantage of you. the person may be smiling at you, but who knows what is in his mind?? anyways.... i've learned the art of survival in my university life. met too many interesting people whom i USED to call, friends. now, they're nothing but merely passer-by in my life. hello, friend. the chapter we wrote together is now closed. you're no longer under that sub-heading. a new one shall begin; and it's called "the haters". and be glad; 'cause you're top on the list. anyways... im so so tired. am just gonna sleep . waking up early to pick loolies up. Labels: allergens., bitch., housemates. |
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Wednesday, April 20, 2011 @ 2:29 AM
Hello world, are you listening? It's fine if I'm rambling just to myself, anyways. Today.... my mood went from :) to "fuck u" mode. You know what..? As time goes by, you get to see who the people around you, REALLY ARE. For an ugly instance, take *him* for an example. The one who thinks he is Almighty and high above the others. He's still not talking to me. I used to care about it, but heck , go on with your ugliness. I don't really wanna care anymore. And then now... there's another bugger. And that's no other than.... another *him*. A gay one this time. Maybe it is me, or maybe it is him. But I realize I can no longer stand his sissy-ness and his bullshits anymore. Yucks. Sometimes, even just by looking at him, I feel like throwing up. Nauseated by how F.A.K.E a person can be. Did so many things behind our backs, and thought we knew nothing? Hello... we ain't dumb la dei. If there is a dumb one, that must be you. For a nice example, someone asked you out for dinner. And that someone mentioned my name too. Did you ever ask me to join you people for dinner? N.O. Instead, you changed the topic and said you'll call more people. Yeaa, more people, EXCEPT ME. It's not that I care so damn much about eating a dinner with you. It's about... whether you still treat me as your friend or not. It's like... you're kicking me aside as well. You're good with words, oh yes you are. You can manipulate the words and sound like a victim, but hey, I know who is the victim over here ok. It's her. Not you. Pffft!! At first, I was thinking and looking out for you. I had the intention to leave my iron-board, my shampoo holder, my chairs for you. But now, looking at the situation, why do I need to do such a charity? High class people need high class things. Such low-ly things that I owned can't be on par with you, right? Oh well... you can buy all you want, since you're so loaded, right?? HAHAHA... I would rather do a charity and donate to the poor than give to some ingrate like you who spat words like venom to me. I was just being nice, trying to ask you first if you wanted my microwave.. if not, I'll put up the offer to someone else. See?? I put you at priority first. And even if you didn't want it, you could have said it in a nicer way. And a more subtle way. You don't need to show me that "OMG, as if I want your secondhand stuff" kind of face you GAYFUCKER. I was so bloody offended. And you don't need to tell me you could buy the same model, BRAND NEW ONE with RM 100 because FUCKER, there's no way that is possible. The same model? Go find your ass-hole and fuck yourself la. Don't piss me off. Stupid bitch. Jeez. I thank GOD for letting me find such a lovely house with such lovely housemates... and I thank GOD I no longer need to see a gayfucker everyday in my house.... breathing the same air with me... having his BOYFRIEND over and fucking and making weird sounds next to my room, giving me nightmares. THANK YOU GOD. I LOVE YOU. |
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Saturday, April 16, 2011 @ 6:49 AM
I sort of miss you. You, the person I've known all my life... ever since kindergarten. I remember how I got closed to you. Behaving like a total busybody, I tried to hook you up with girls but in the end, you saw me. I saw you too. But coward me let it go. There are times, lonely times, when I would dig out the past and think about all the what ifs. Oh well..this is what a single, boyfriendless, bored, girl like me would do. *looks around* I don't see any potential guys around, do you? So I tend to let my memories wander around... you stopped talking to me, drifted away from my life after the rejection... and you wouldn't even accept my friend request in facebook. :( Sometimes, I wish we are still friends. There are so much stuffs that we could talk about still.. like old times.. Honestly, you filled in all the criteria I'd wanted in a boy. But well, it's all in the past. LALALALA... enuf reminiscing. As for now... Loolies think me and Bohtea has something going on. -.-'' My darling, rest assured there's absolutely nothing funny going on here... well, I asked him out to kill the time and to kill the awkwardness if ever that arrogant housemate of yours tagged along in any of our dinner outing.. Bohtea and his friend are individuals that could light up my boring day with their lame jokes and I love having them around... :) Plus, I'm not that close with any other people in the class. Basically I enjoyed his company as a funny friend.. and nothing more than that. He doesn't fill any of the criteria I want in a bf except that he's tall and nice. HAHAHAHAHAA.... And I guess I've had enough of chinese educated boys as bf. I'm very much traumatised by their mindset actually. I think it's the Chinese songs punya pasal. Too emo, too mushy. Made them think that all relationships should be like that..? I may be wrong. LOL. Maybe next time, I should get an Indian boyfriend. It's easier to get compared to a Korean, don't you think so??? Labels: boys |
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Sunday, March 27, 2011 @ 12:49 AM
you get on my nerves. no, not you eop. it's this darn human.you are so petty. your temper is like a volcano. people describe you as a ticking bomb. are you even aware of that? that people are going behind your back and making the not-so-very-nice-comments about you? i bet you don't. if you do, you would have altered that crazy temper of yours. or maybe you do... and you think you're the 'king' and no one should go against you. for your information, the 'king' era has ended, even in china ditto. you can't be sultan, you're not a muslim. so basically, you are not a royalty. so stop acting like you're freaking one of them. you think people around you are lower life compared to you? you think you're so high up and that everyone must listen to you? if not, you're gonna show your fiery temper and assume that people are okay about it? don't you know friendship don't build with 'fear' or 'intimidation'. if you instill this in people around you, you don't get no true respects from your peers, including me. you're everything that i dislike. and today, when your lava touches my toe... that's it. my volcano erupted too. do you think you're the only one with an active volcano huh? mine has been dead for years, but now it's erupted thanks to your triggering factor. and you know what, at first i was worried about you not getting a place to stay should the shifting plan succeed. but right now, I COULD CARE LESS. looking back, you were pretty mean to me too. remember the time when I was homeless and asked if i could be your housemate? you told me "NO." when i begged you, you told me "NO MEANS NO." =.= how fucked up is that, you tell me? come to think of it, since you were so mean to me, why should i be so nice to you ..? my patience to you has come to an end, and so is our dying friendship. i do hope we can salvage whatever that is left with us, but well, you know what... i think that doesn't bother you much right? you won't even care about me anyways. or this stupid ridiculous weird friendship. hence, i shall take no sadness along with me. :) i pray to god that you will come to your fucking senses that you're not the master of this world. you need to CO-OPERATE. TEAMWORK. you don't stand alone. but oh well, i do love to see you fall hard when it comes to our working life. probably, you'll fall so hard and come to your bloody senses that man is no island. but i would definitely NOT be in the same hospital with you mate. that would be my greatest nightmare. p/s : MISS A WANTS TO SHIFT OUT TO THAT BEAUTIFUL APARTMENT!!!!!!! Labels: bitch., footprints |
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Friday, March 25, 2011 @ 9:27 AM
it's scary how messed up things are now. my housemates are still not on talking terms. and now there is a new volcano brewing... or has it erupted? i've seen droplets of tears draining down those pretty eyes and could do nothing but just sit there and watch in silence.hmmm... on a happier note, the house recommended by yp was seriously beautiful. it was gorgeous, like a suite in a hotel. there are three lovely rooms... all fully furnished with beds and built-in cabinets and dressing table!! and there's an airconditioner in the room as well! there's a tv in the living room... a set of sofa and a nice little coffee-table by the window overlooking the sea!!! how gorgeous is that, you tell me?? and the best thing of all is the kitchen. everything is built in. even the refrigerator, stove, ventilator! there's a slide-in-dish-holder too! pretty awesome, if you ask me!! dr.ma is seriously an angel from heaven =P the master bed-room, which is the one that me and loolies are taking... consist of two single beds (yes, like those in hotel!!!!), a freaking HUGE wardrobe that is more than enough for the both of ours clothes... the space for study table is sufficient too. gorgeous. i don't know how to describe the excitement when i saw that place. all i could do was gasp and smile. however, i notice that certain someone was unhappy about all this shifting thing. he had this ugliest lips all of the sudden... which was drooping downwards and he looked pissed. well, of course he is pissed. he's jealous, i bet he is. and all the sarcasm in the car was so sour. it feels like he couldn't eat the grape, and hence he says the grape is sour. oh well. i don't really care about him. if he's unhappy, so be it. we can't please everyone in this world right. sometimes, we have to stand for what we think is best for us. allright, time for my bed now. signing off, miss a. Labels: footprints, new house. |
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Thursday, March 17, 2011 @ 1:58 AM
may your soul rest in peace.my dear uncle micky, you were kind and always nice to me. always smiling and warm. when i was studying in cheras, you would always give me pocket money although you yourself wasn't in a good condition. you had all sort of illness. diabetes, heart problem, and had to undergo CAPD everyday. then you had your leg amputated. recently, another one was amputated as well. but this time, you didn't make it through. you fell into depression and passed away, today. i was in my class when i received that sad sms from mom. i thought about how friendly and gracious you were to me. and how strong you used to be and how weak you have become. how much you've suffered and how it is sad and yet relieving at the same time that you're free from your earthly sufferings now. may you be in heaven , healthy and happy... if heaven does exist. if it does not, wherever you are now... may your soul be free till the end of time. actually i had this bad feelings that you'll go soon... i don't know why. i had this urge to give you a call but i was scared... because you're depressed. i didn't dare to ask "how are you?" when the answer was obvious. so i waited. but i didn't get a chance to say a goodbye this time. i vividly remember the last goodbye i said to you. it was during chinese new year. a few months back. you were in your room , lying on the bed. i entered and bade you goodbye and asked you to take care. you wish me well and safe journey. i wish we would have talked more. but it's okay. we'll meet each other again. maybe years later. :( rest in peace, my dear uncle. you will be missed dearly. Labels: footprints, r.i.p |
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Wednesday, March 16, 2011 @ 7:57 AM
we thought we knew ourselves better, but we're wrong.for most of the time, we're better than who we think we are. ... the person who just smiled at you 5 minutes ago might want you dead. so, trust no one, even if it is the best smile in the world. trust yourself. trust your instincts. ... family is the only, the one and only shelter where i can let my guards down. this is something i realize lately. if i was told this 10 years ago, i'll tell you "that's bullshit 'cause my sister wants me dead. and she sleeps beside me." as we grow up, all those siblings rivalry end with a "hey, when are you coming home?" <--- yes, that question is equivalent to 3 words "I MISS YOU." ... everyone around me is weird. everyone is so emo. everyone is so negative. it's driving me nuts too. i hate the solemnness. no one died here yet, but seems like everyone is mourning. f! c'mon, smile a bit people, show some teeth. i guess, when studies stress + messed up love life + jealousy , it really can drive people...weird. hey! you're not ALLOWED to be weird! only i can, because im an aquarius and eccentricity is so meee! Labels: footprints |